Dear Mr. Dad,

You don't know me and I don't know you, but I spotted you in the Prudential Mall with two kids in tow and a toddler in a stroller. Perhaps you noticed me, too. I was the one in the pink coat with the pained expression.

Let me explain.

First, I admire you for braving the chaos of Boston on Patriot's Day in order to take the kids to see the Boston Marathon. I'm sure they had a lot of fun. But I'm also pretty sure you're going to have lifelong back problems from pushing that dinky, seriously-was-that-a-toy-stroller-because-it-was-really-really-small umbrella stroller around all day.

Make no mistake: you were doubled over at the waist! It's a sad day indeed when a tall man is pushed to the limits of his pain threshold for being a good dad. The look on my face was meant to convey the sympathy pain I was experiencing on your behalf.

Mr. Dad, I realize that these are tough times. But maybe you could just invest in a nice Maclaren. The super compact, lightweight Volo is only $130. Or for $280 you could get get a Techno XT, which--I might add--comes with adjustable handlebars. You could use that as your primary stroller amd never need to waste another penny on some cheap umbrella stroller that looks like if you hit a Boston cobblestone the entire frame could collapse right there on Newbury Street.

Think about it, please. It could save you hundreds in chiropractor bills and your toddler will thank you.

Sincerely,
Mother Goose